Courage: The First Step Toward Change
David Reynard
Courage is not the absence of fear but the strength and determination to move through the fear in the direction of the change, a place of unknown results. Do not wait to find courage until you are forced to dig deep in a last-ditch effort for survival.
I personally lacked courage for most of my adult life until my medical journey forced me to reevaluate, learn, and find that strength to make major changes all at once to save my life and sanity within the last two years. My lack of courage had become a life-or- death situation. My example is an extreme, but it wouldn’t have been so tumultuous if I had had the courage to make small changes along the way instead of having to make them compounded all at once.
I have been using my journey as an example to show people how to start finding the courage to tackle the small changes before they become larger problems. These changes can be simple or grand changes. They can be deciding to start exercising to gain more endurance or agility, exercising as pain management, standing up for yourself and your beliefs, being your own advocate in your health struggle, pushing for therapy in your relationship for its survival or its surrender, or any number of situations.
One of the most difficult areas for finding courage is finding it to allow yourself to love yourself. The beginning of any positive change is that you must love yourself before you succeed in changing anything for the better. You must have the courage to say, “I love who I am!”, say it now. ---- Did you say it? If you answered “no”, then this is where you need to start. If you answered “yes, but…”, you are not quite there yet. No one and I mean no one is perfect. I don’t claim to be, and I don’t expect others to be. Our imperfections are what help define who we are.
You must love who you are now to be able to make the changes you want for the future; especially when those include how you expect others to interact with and treat you. Loving yourself is also the first step in self-respect. How you are treated by others and how you treat yourself is on how strong your self-love and self-respect are. If these are lower, you will have less chance of success in getting the outcome that you desire. That courage is inside you; you may have to dig deep, but don’t wait to face the challenges that I did before taking the steps to toward change. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected and, most importantly, happy. No exceptions. Have you ever looked at someone and wonder how someone could be so miserable of a human being? If you look deeper inside that person, you will find someone who really doesn’t love themselves, maybe they don’t even like themselves. Now, look at it in reverse. Have you ever looked at someone and ask how they could be that happy of a person? More than likely that person has high self-esteem, self-confidence, and loves who they are despite what others consider flaws.
Once you have worked up the courage to love yourself, the next step is to determine what you want or need to change in your life. This could be better communication within your personal or work relationships, your health, your attitude, wanting to be more extroverted or any number of changes. If you are the type who likes lists, make a personal “honey-do” list, listing in order of what you want to or need to accomplish first. Now on a separate page for each thing you have listed, title another page with each change. On each page, make a checklist of what you need to make happen for that change to be successful. Making this list of sub-changes will make obtaining the top change much easier.
Change does not come easily. It takes dedication and commitment. The way you approach change is what determines the difficulty of it. Your change, by breaking it down into smaller accomplishments, will be less stressful than trying to make it all at once. Think of them as steps and your main goal is the top landing. It is easier to climb the steps one at a time than skipping two or three at a time. Some people can take them that way while others can’t. The end goal is the same, reaching the landing. Climb those steps your way at your speed; you will still make it to the top.
Something to remember, with courage also comes setting boundaries. Once you have found the courage to make a change. You must set boundaries for yourself and those in your life that say you will not go backwards to how things were before. As you develop the courage, self-confidence, and self-esteem, people around you will take notice and start adjusting to meet your boundaries. If they don’t, they may become your next change. Remember, the change is for you or you & your family, it is not for the benefit or prompting of anyone else. True change only comes when it is what you want, not what other people want of you.
Dig deep. Find the self-love, self-confidence to find the courage to build your self- esteem and make your desired change. You have the strength and power within. Remember; self-love, self-confidence, and self-esteem should never become self- absorbed or egotistical. Always Forward, Never Backward! Get Empowered!
Courage is the First Step Toward Change